Spite-Driven Career Development

Occasionally I get asked "What drove you to start speaking at conferences?" There are the regular explanations: I was interested in learning from the best in the field. couldn't afford the ticket price or the travel. I was looking for a peer group who know what good testing looks like.

Those things continue to be true. But what pushed this introvert who'd rather be reading a book sipping tea off the couch and onto the stage in front of a crowd?

Spite.

I'd sat through enough boring presentations, failed to follow bad explanations with poorly put together slides, and participated in enough useless workshops. Enough was enough. I thoughts "even if I give a useless presentation, I can do it with more flair than these chumps." And so I did.

Not immediately. I'd submitted ideas to conferences for several years before any got accepted. (Getting more specific and giving away spoilers is what I credit the tipping point to. That, and being willing to travel to lands lacking in native English speakers.)

This was not the only thing I've done out of spite.

I once wrote a blog post my company at the time refused to publish since it was contrary to the way they sought business. They requested a post with the opposite viewpoint. I refused to rewrite it, and the original post fueled my own blog instead.

I was driven to seek a team lead (manager) role partly out of spite. The people who motivated me may never know.

I studied the Dutch language and passed all the immigration exams early partly out of spite. Failing a Duolingo lesson and being in danger of breaking my streak incensed me. Why is this owl so vindictive towards the illiterate, the vulnerable? "I'll show him," I cried.

I'm not unique in this feeling. Shakespeare wrote Othello after being booed offstage himself. At least two friends of mine have organized whole conferences in reaction to all-male lineups of professionals.

To be clear, I'm not sure I'd recommend this form of motivation to anyone. Rather, I would recommend aspiring to be more like the people you admire. It's gotten me to push myself a little harder in my workouts, asking curious questions instead of jumping to conclusions, and undoubtedly more good habits I want to keep. "Surround yourself with the role models you aspire to emulate" sounds much healthier than being driven by spite. But at work, I haven't always had the luxury of choosing who surrounds me. And thus, spite it is.

Are you learning or contributing in the spaces you inhabit at work? If not, what are you going to do about it?

Are you feeling stuck because the things around you don't change? If so, are you the one who can change?

Phil Botha on Unsplash" style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto">Photo by Phil Botha on Unsplash