Agile’s Missing Piece: How We Show Up for Ourselves

A mini-series uncovering our blind spots and the human factor we often overlook in Agile, starting with how we show up individually, how we collaborate in teams, and how we work together as a group. [Part 2/4]

Where does change begin?

The first takeaway of what’s missing from Agile starts with what we can do for ourselves. It builds on the fundamental Agile value of Continuous Learning.

Agile calls for a growth mindset. But growth isn’t as simple as checking a task off a list — it’s a lifelong process, it’s an act of becoming. And at the heart of this journey lies a growth mindset. But, where does this journey begin?

Building self-awareness and truly knowing ourselves

Growing starts with identifying where we need to grow. It’s about knowing our strengths, our weaknesses, and the patterns we fall into. I find that a good place to start is inward — with reflection. For me, it begins with a simple curiosity about my own life and passions, and asking myself:

• What am I good at?
• What am I resistant to?
• What do I love?
• What moves me?
• What motivates me?

There are many tools we can use too, such as strength-finding assessments, or the Awareness-Knowledge matrix.

But to uncover these things, we need to create space for introspection and self-examination. We need to dig deeper into not just our known-unknowns but our unknown-unknowns — where our blind spots like. And turn these exact blind spots in our lives, into opportunities for growth.

That being said, self-awareness isn’t born in isolation. Yes, it requires us to reflect but it also requires feedback from others. We often misjudge how well we think we know ourselves, and here’s where others can hold a mirror up to us, to reveal truths we may not see on our own. Of course this takes courage, but if we approach it with a sufficient dose of curiosity and kindness, we can learn a lot from what others see. Even when it’s uncomfortable.

Facing our fears of failure

Overcoming our own fears of failure, I find, is one of the hardest steps on this journey. Perfectionism is a common friend many of us have become acquainted with in our lives. But keeping ourselves in the company of Perfectionism for too long keeps us stuck — afraid to take risks, afraid to look foolish. We often think:

• What if it’s not good enough or if it fails?
• What if I can’t catch up?
• What will people think of me?

These questions are often the ones that hold us back. But we need to realise that growth doesn’t happen without trying. And there’s a quote I love which says:

“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the assessment that something else is more important than fear.”
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

Starting 5 years ago, I’ve made it a point to always be in the midst of learning something new. This forced me to constantly be in a state of risking looking foolish. And I won’t lie, oftentimes, I did. But hey it wasn’t all bad! Dance? I was terrible. Go-karting? I made the leaderboard. Scuba diving? I discovered a whole new world — Disney reference intended.

Showing up is the hardest part, but, the good thing about trying new things is that it builds confidence to try even more new things. From this I’ve learned that confidence doesn’t come when you’re perfect — it comes when you’re simply willing. Willing to try. Willing to fail. Willing to learn.

Reframing when the threat feels too big to start

Reframing is a powerful tool. When the stakes feel too high, or when fear starts to take over, we have the power to reframe the situation. And we can do that just by changing the language we use. Many have discussed the power of language, how we use it to understand our realities, and how changing the language we use can change how we perceive a situation or threat. For example, labelling a product launch as a “go-live” versus a “pilot” both describe a product debuting in the market for the first time, yet each frame carries a very different set of expectations.

I remember a conversation with a young lady, Lynn whom I had the privilege of meeting at a company barbecue. We chatted about our shared love for reading — both books and people; music — she was from the Choir and I was from the Band; and anything else that sneaked its way into the conversation. Towards the end of the evening, she glanced over at Steven, her dad, also a director at my workplace, surrounded by a small crowd of people waiting to consult him and seek his advice.

With a chuckle, she said, “I don’t know why people always ask him things like he has all the answers. He’s just figuring it out, like everyone else.”

That moment changed my perspective. We’re all just figuring it out. She reframed the situation to help me see that titles and labels don’t exempt us from the human condition of not knowing. No one has it all figured out. Lynn is blessed to have figured this out earlier than most. And from that moment, she helped me see that too.

Seeing work as a sandbox for learning and growth

I get that failing at a hobby is one thing, but failing at work seems utterly unthinkable. So it’s common for us to confine ourselves within our comfort zones at work because the stakes are simply too high, or at least seem too high. The earlier quote from Franklin D. Roosevelt talks about having the courage to overcome our fears. Brené Brown adds a layer of depth to it when she says:

“Daring greatly means the courage to be vulnerable. It means to show up and be seen. To ask for what you need.”
- Brené Brown

And there’s a moment in my life that has taught me the value of living by this. Once as a junior designer, I received an email introducing a new deputy director who would be joining the organisation. The email talked about his interest in the space of healthcare — an area that I was and still am very passionate about. After hours of internally debating with myself, I reached out with a simple reply to share that I too, share in his interest for the healthcare sector.

That simple email turned into an incredible lunch with more like-minded individuals who shared their passion, ideas, and personal healthcare stories. And a year later, that conversation led to an opportunity I would have never seen coming — an offer to lead a new team for a healthcare project. When I wrote that first email, I didn’t have all the answers. I was the least experienced person in the room (or email thread). But what I had was curiosity and a willingness to try. And somehow, that was enough.

So, what can we do for ourselves?

We can start by creating space for introspection, for failure, for curiosity.

Learning and growth are not just about acquiring skills — it’s about embracing challenges, and the uncomfortable moments of being vulnerable. So, what if we saw our workplaces not just as places to work but as spaces to grow? What if we had teams where titles disappeared, and we chose our tasks based on interest, not our roles? What if we let go of the “supposed to be done by” mindset and embraced what we’re drawn to?

Maybe we’d find ourselves exploring new paths, discovering new strengths and having truly cross-functional teams. And when the stakes feel overwhelming, we can always reframe the challenge. We can embrace the unknown and lean into learning, knowing that none of us have it all figured out — and that’s okay. What matters most is that we keep showing up.

Agile’s Missing Piece: How We Show Up for Ourselves was originally published in Government Digital Products, Singapore on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.